This was passed on by a friend this morning. I thought it'd be good for a chuckle/ or a ' .'
The
Beloit College Mindset List for the Class of 2014
Most students entering college for the first time this fall—the Class of
2014—were born in 1992.
For
these students, Benny Hill, Sam Kinison, Sam Walton, Bert Parks and Tony
Perkins have always been dead.
1.
Few in the class know how to write in cursive.
2.
Email is just too slow, and they seldom if ever use snail mail.
3.
“Go West, Young College Grad” has always implied “and
don’t stop until you get to Asia…and learn Chinese along the
way.”
4. Al
Gore has always been animated.
5.
Los Angelenos have always been trying to get along.
6.
Buffy has always been meeting her obligations to hunt down Lothos and
the other
blood-suckers at Hemery High.
7.
“Caramel macchiato” and “venti half-caf vanilla latte”
have always been street corner lingo.
8.
With increasing numbers of ramps, Braille signs, and handicapped parking
spaces, the world has always been trying harder to accommodate people
with
disabilities.
9.
Had it remained operational, the villainous computer HAL could be their
college
classmate this fall, but they have a better chance of running into Miley
Cyrus’s folks on Parents’ Weekend.
10. A
quarter of the class has at least one immigrant parent, and the
immigration
debate is not a big priority…unless it involves “real” aliens
from another planet.
11.
John McEnroe has never played professional tennis.
12.
Clint Eastwood is better known as a sensitive director than as Dirty
Harry.
13.
Parents and teachers feared that Beavis and Butt-head might be the voice
of a
lost generation.
14.
Doctor Kevorkian has never been licensed to practice medicine.
15.
Colorful lapel ribbons have always been worn to indicate support for a
cause.
16.
Korean cars have always been a staple on American highways.
17.
Trading Chocolate the Moose for Patti the Platypus helped build their
Beanie
Baby collection.
18.
Fergie is a pop singer, not a princess.
19.
They never twisted the coiled handset wire aimlessly around their wrists
while
chatting on the phone.
20.
DNA fingerprinting and maps of the human genome have always existed.
21.
Woody Allen, whose heart has wanted what it wanted, has always been with
Soon-Yi Previn.
22.
Cross-burning has always been deemed protected speech.
23.
Leasing has always allowed the folks to upgrade their tastes in cars.
24.
“Cop Killer” by rapper Ice-T has never been available on a
recording.
25.
Leno and Letterman have always been trading insults on opposing
networks.
26.
Unless they found one in their grandparents’ closet, they have never
seen
a carousel of Kodachrome slides.
27.
Computers have never lacked a CD-ROM disk drive.
28.
They’ve never recognized that pointing to their wrists was a request for
the time of day.
29.
Reggie Jackson has always been enshrined in Cooperstown.
30.
“Viewer Discretion” has always been an available warning on TV
shows.
31.
The first computer they probably touched was an Apple II; it is now in a
museum.
32.
Czechoslovakia has never existed.
33.
Second-hand smoke has always been an official carcinogen.
34.
“Assisted Living” has always been replacing nursing homes, while
Hospice has always been an alternative to hospitals.
35.
Once they got through security, going to the airport has always
resembled going
to the mall.
36.
Adhesive strips have always been available in varying skin tones.
37.
Whatever their parents may have thought about the year they were born,
Queen
Elizabeth declared it an “Annus Horribilis.”
38.
Bud Selig has always been the Commissioner of Major League Baseball.
39.
Pizza jockeys from Domino’s have never killed themselves to get your
pizza there in under 30 minutes.
40.
There have always been HIV positive athletes in the Olympics.
41.
American companies have always done business in Vietnam.
42.
Potato has always ended in an “e” in New Jersey per vice
presidential edict.
43.
Russians and Americans have always been living together in space.
44.
The dominance of television news by the three networks passed while they
were
still in their cribs.
45.
They have always had a chance to do community service with local and
federal
programs to earn money for college.
46.
Nirvana is on the classic oldies station.
47.
Children have always been trying to divorce their parents.
48.
Someone has always gotten married in space.
49.
While they were babbling in strollers, there was already a female Poet
Laureate
of the United States.
50.
Toothpaste tubes have always stood up on their caps.
51.
Food has always been irradiated.
52.
There have always been women priests in the Anglican Church.
53.
J.R. Ewing has always been dead and gone. Hasn’t he?
54.
The historic bridge at Mostar in Bosnia has always been a copy.
55.
Rock bands have always played at presidential inaugural parties.
56.
They may have assumed that parents’ complaints about Black Monday had to
do with punk rockers from L.A., not Wall Street.
57. A
purple dinosaur has always supplanted Barney Google and Barney Fife.
58.
Beethoven has always been a dog.
59.
By the time their folks might have noticed Coca Cola’s new Tab Clear, it
was gone.
60.
Walmart has never sold handguns over the counter in the lower 48.
61.
Presidential appointees have always been required to be more precise
about
paying their nannies’ withholding tax, or else.
62.
Having hundreds of cable channels but nothing to watch has always been
routine.
63.
Their parents’ favorite TV sitcoms have always been showing up as
movies.
64.
The U.S, Canada, and Mexico have always agreed to trade freely.
65.
They first met Michelangelo when he was just a computer virus.
66.
Galileo is forgiven and welcome back into the Roman Catholic Church.
67.
Ruth Bader Ginsburg has always sat on the Supreme Court.
68.
They have never worried about a Russian missile strike on the U.S.
69.
The Post Office has always been going broke.
70.
The artist formerly known as Snoop Doggy Dogg has always been rapping.
71.
The nation has never approved of the job Congress is doing.
72.
One way or another, “It’s the economy, stupid” and always has
been.
73.
Silicone-gel breast implants have always been regulated.
74.
They’ve always been able to blast off with the Sci-Fi Channel.
75.
Honda has always been a major competitor on Memorial Day at
Indianapolis.
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